The Art of Listening
Blog by Doug Deane
The Art of Listening
Do you know what the most important business skill is? Yes, that’s right, you got a big hint from the title of this blog. It’s listening, and you’re not doing it well enough. I strongly suggest that you keep reading.
When you’re having a conversation with someone, do you know who’s in control of the conversation? Well, it’s not who you think. It’s NOT the person who is doing the most talking. It’s the person who is listening and asking questions. They are guiding the conversation in the direction that they want it to go in. This is particularly true in a sales environment or in any customer-facing situation.
At DSD Business Systems, we’re all about our ethics, and our most cherished document, our Statement of Values says to “… treat each other with understanding, respect and fairness.” Believe me, when you are interrupting a fellow staff member, a prospect, a customer or a vendor, you’re not behaving ethically, because you are not respecting their ideas. Your own ego has taken over and whether you know it or not, you’re going down in flames.
Interrupting someone is almost like a drug. It’s a hard addiction to break, and people have many reasons for doing it. Which of these categories do you fall into?
- People who like completing other people’s sentences, because they want to prove that they already know the point that the other person is trying to make.
- People who can’t tell when the other person is done, so they jump in at the first (usually bad) opportunity.
- People who are so excited about the idea they just got, they have to share it right away.
- People who don’t take notes, so when they get an idea during the conversation, they blurt it out for fear that they’ll forget it.
- People who are tired of listening to someone else talk and simply enjoy the sound of their own voice.
- People who are convinced that the other person is entirely wrong, and they want them to stop elaborating on their bad idea.
- People who think that their idea is more important than the other person’s idea.
I’ve been guilty of a few of these in my life, and so have you. In the past 30 days, I’ve witnessed every single one of these behaviors in various members of our staff, our customers and our vendors. I guarantee that you will be more successful in your profession and in your life if you would simply become a better listener.
Here are some tips for being a better listener:
- NEVER interrupt anybody, no matter how much more important you think your idea is. When you interrupt a fellow staff member, you lose their respect. When you interrupt a prospect, you probably just lost a sale. On some level, you have communicated to your prospect that your own idea of how their ERP system should perform is more important than their idea of how it should perform, and they’ll assume that everyone on your staff will treat them the same way.
- Guide the discussion with questions that are based on what your prospect or customer is saying. Prospects will almost always tell you how to sell them something, if you’d just shut up and listen.
- Don’t let your ego get in the way of satisfying someone else’s needs. It’s your ego that causes you to interrupt, not your intellect. Put your ego aside by telling it that you’ll be able to feed it by listening to what your prospect is saying and closing the sale, rather than by “demonstrating” your intelligence.
- Don’t talk until you’re sure that your partner in the conversation is done, and demand that all your fellow staff members do the same.
- Take notes during the conversation so that you remember to ask relevant questions, and so that you demonstrate to others that you really care about what they’re saying. Don’t ever trust anyone who thinks they’re smart enough to remember everything that was said without writing it down.
- Having a conversation with a prospect is a lot like playing cards. The more you know about the other person’s hand, the more likely you are to win the game. You’re not learning about their hand when your mouth is open.
Want to lose 10 pounds in 5 days? Forget it. Do you want a free vacation in Cancun? Been there, done that. Want to become an overnight success in your profession and in your life? That’s easy. Stop talking so much and start listening more. Listening is not an easy life skill to acquire, but it’s one of the most important.
Doug Deane is President of DSD Business Systems, a national provider of on-demand (cloud) and on-premises ERP and CRM software, specializing in wholesale distribution, manufacturing, warehouse management, inventory, business intelligence and eCommerce software. DSD offers Sage 100 (formerly MAS 90), Sage 300 (formerly Accpac), Sage 500 (formerly MAS 500), NetSuite, Sage FAS, Sage HRMS (formerly Abra), Sage CRM, Sage SalesLogix, Extended Solutions, and Custom Programming.
